Giving Up.

Have you ever wondered why so many girls are heartbroken and just dont trust? It's because the guys that say they are 'good guys' and will be there for you, and will hold you are the ones that desert you and are the ones that break your heart. I'm sorry to all the guys out there that really are good, who really are the ones that mean every word they say and we don't trust you. It's because we are afraid to lose what you've given us, but we lose it in the end because we are afraid that it's not real. It's confusing and a bit contradictory but we try. At least have some patience. I know I'm sick of the guys that tell you they will wipe away your tears but they are the ones who make you cry, the ones that say they'll take away all your fears but they are why you have nightmares. I hate the guys that say you are their best friend, your 'lil sis' but then when you really need that big brother they are jerks and blow you off. I'm sick of the guys who tell you that you are their world but then turn around and tell that to the next blonde that walks down the street. I hate the guys that tell you to tear down your walls to let them in and as soon as they do they plant a nuke and make sure they are far enough away so they can watch the explosion but not get hit by any of the after effects. I'm sick of guys who tell you they will go at your pace, and that sex isn't all that they are after but leave you after a month cause they haven't gotten laid or they force themselves on you because they 'neeed' it so bad or they guilt you into it, they pull the "you'll do this if you love me' card. Boy does that get you a no fast in my book. You tell me whether or not I love you and that will get you a boot to the face and send you out the door. I'm sorry, but like the great Pat Benatar says "Stop using sex as a weapon." I just want a guy who will say and mean what he says, who will give me the time of day even if we don't work out. Who will show just as much of himself to me as I do to him. And I don't mean sexually, I mean emotionally. Drop as many barriers as I do. Let me see him vulnerable instead of the other way around. Love is giving someone your heart and trusting them not to break it. I'm just sick of having to pick up the shattered peices, tape it back together and realize that I don't have all the shards to give to the next guy who says he will mend my broken heart. I'm done with that. I just feel like giving up, I just don't want to try and compete with supermodels to get a guys attention. I'm not thin, I have curves, I have a brain, I have a mind of my own, I am independent and if guys don't like that well then I don't know where society has come to because last I checked being yourself was suppose to be important. Well wish me luck on my journey of finding someone. I don't know if I ever will. Seems useless to me right now. ^_^ However I am happy for all those who have found that special someone. I am not bitter against you at all, jealous at times, but not bitter. You just found one of the lucky ones.

Property of Skippy, copying without permission is ILLEGAL!